Category: Joke Board
TOP 17 FATAL THINGS TO SAY IF YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT
17. "I finished the Oreos."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40
pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee
had a baby..!!"
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby
forever!"
13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super
Bowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise
visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,
that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to
Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of
childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own* ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk ?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of
Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains
water..."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant:
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger..."
lol good one. :D
Uhm yeh. I'd imagine all of those would be a rather quick way to lose your life, if not worse.
Oh, that's so true! I feel bad for my brother-in-law, lol!
If this is always the case, pregnant women should be treated like farm animals. Keep her in a separate dwelling, give her a hefty portion of food each day, walk her, and give her a treat for keeping quiet. more like a dog, eh? lol!
omg rofl, any guy who said those things to me would b gone. ahahhahah
Lol!
this is fabulous
and agree with nehamiah
lmao
Crazy, so what if someone tried to use these lines to a pregnant woman? Poor fella! Laughs
Lmfao. I feel bad for the guy who would say something like that. Lmfao.
Hehe, good ones. Came about three months too late for us, though! :-)
hehegh, nice, yeah!
All I gotta say is, Louis, watch out! You just might die before this baby comes out.
rofl brandi.
I'm thinking that if anyone gets desperate enough to marry me, and if, by chance, my wife gets pregnant, I will, at some point in those nine months, say every single one of those lines, just to see what happens to me. No disrespect to pregnant women, I just want to see what she does to me. I'm betting that by the time I'm done, I'll have a few new sets of elbows, my legs will probably be bending in all sorts of new and interesting ways, I will probably be glad that I am blind, because my eyes will be gone, and I will most likely have a set of very swollen and hurting testicles. In other words, I'm going to find myself fucked without even spreading my legs.
roflmao. So true
oh wow; great one! lol.
omg, ooooouch